Life According to Jonah

Jonah’s Blog: Honestly, who’d be a writer’s cat? Scribbler’s so full of herself these days. The phone never stops with radio jocks and journalists interviewing her about Tumbledown Manor.

I suppose a new book’s well and good. She has to pay for my fresh chicken breast SOMEhow.I probably should be grateful a feline features in the book at all. But that cat isn’t ME!!!

It’s outrageous she’d choose to write about some one-eyed feral when I’m sitting right in front of her – well actually ON her, digging my claws into her thighs as a reminder I’m Not Happy.

Apparently the cat in the book is a combination of one she fostered in New York and a one-eyed feline belonging to a reader called Shelley Fleming. Of the 31 cats Shelley has looked after over the years, her favourite is a ginger one-eyed individual. She insisted Scribbler feature a similar cat in her next book.

But what about me? First she rewards me by taking off to Warsaw Book Fair and Vienna for nearly two months. Of course, a lot of people she met over there wanted to know how I was coping, and asked to see photos of me on her phone.

But it wasn’t good enough. While she was away I started licking a patch of fur on my back until it was nearly bald. When Scribbler got home the first thing she she did was drag me off to the vet. I was diagnosed with a possible flea allergy. EEEK!!! As if a flea would dare go anywhere near moi!

Scribbler and I thought the antibiotic pills looked too scary. We kept them in the laundry on top of the washing machine. I agreed to stop the licking, and my fur started to grow back.

Just when it looked like things were getting back to normal, she packed her bags for New Zealand. Well, frankly I’d had enough. I managed to pee three times in her study the night before she left. Quel triumph!

Now she’s back home again, I’ll bunker down and wait till the phone stops ringing.